Great excitement in the house today. Huuuuuge. We have a new car!
Well... I say 'new', although obviously I mean new-to-us, rather than brand-spanking-smell-that-newness-new but hey, it's a mere three years old this one, as opposed to ten and a half, like the decrepit banger we've just got rid of. I am soooo not going to miss that knackered old thing. Breaking down on the M5 ("we're all going on a summer holiday... oh, no, we're not, actually"), the engine cutting out repeatedly on cold days, the strange (and worrying) noise the clutch had started to make as you changed gear, feeling that any moment the beast was going to give up and conk out somewhere really impractical. I am not a keen driver at the best of times but it was really starting to bug me, the way you had to sit with the engine running for five minutes before you could go anywhere, just so it would be warm enough not to splutter and die in the middle of the road whilst turning right into the A4 (yeah, cheers for that, you stupid unreliable lump of metal).
But those days are gone. Oh yes! Now we have a silver-gold Xsara Picasso (or 'beige' as it says rather more prosaically on the sales sheet) with... wait for it... a CD player. "Can we have Best of Girls Aloud on the way to swimming?" eldest daughter shrieked as she got in from school, sprinting up to her room to retrieve it. Oh God, the arguments, there are going to be such terrible arguments from here on in, I can't even bear to think about them.
Before, in the Old Crap One, we had a tape player or the radio. Boy, am I glad to see the back of those Horrid Henry tapes, now relegated to the living room. I love a bit of HH, don't get me wrong, but we all know all the stories off by heart now. (I still laugh at the hypnotist one though, and "I'm a nudey! I'm a nudey!" has become a favourite bath-time catchphrase, thanks to Rude Ralph.) And oh yes, good riddance to the awful Sleepytime lullaby tapes we've had since the kids were all babies, and Kipper, and the Large Family... Goodbye, the lot of you. And farewell, old car. We've gone all posh and beige now, I'm afraid.
Mind you, I haven't actually driven it yet. You wait, I'll have crashed it by the end of the week, distracted by the heated Girls Aloud versus Rainbow Fairy CD arguments. Anyone know where I can get a soundproof bubble to fix onto the driver's seat?