Wednesday, 6 August 2008

Pavement pounding

I read somewhere that at Abi Titmuss's recent book signing, only three people showed up.
Eeek. That is so going to be me on Saturday, when I do mine, I just know it. What seemed like a good idea at the time will see me all alone in the corner of Waterstones, with kind, pitying looks from the staff, being completely ignored and shunned by customers. I'll have to text LP and beg him to please come in and pretend he doesn't know me, and.. Oh, the shame.

The thought of such a scenario has prompted me to take to the streets with a sack-load of fliers, advertising the event. I've learned from my mistakes last year and have gone out to pound the pavements in trainers this time rather than high-heeled boots, but am still experiencing the same traumas with bristly draught-excluder letterboxes, the fear that a mad dog is going to bite my fingers off and the paranoia that someone's going to fling their front door open while I'm there and say, "Take this litter away with you!"
It's quite a strange business, going to door after door and trying not to be too nosey about it. When I spy a front room lined with books, I think, Yes, you can have a flier. Whenever I see someone in the front room, even if they're not looking at me, I avoid that house, for fear of the above. Gates are a pain, so are steps, so are long drives.
I'll be out again tonight, though. If it means avoiding the three-book signing shame, I'll do it...

15 comments:

Caroline said...

I am SURE that more than 3 will turn up. You are a mega famous writer lady!

x

Lucy Diamond said...

Oh, I hope so, Caroline... I've got to beat Abi Titmuss, I've just got to!

Lane said...

Good luck! I'm sure they will be queuing up!

Pat Posner said...

Good luck, Lucy!

I'm sure you'll get loads turning up and I'll be there in spirit.

Lucy Diamond said...

Lane and Pat - I love your optimism, can I have some of that?!

Captain Black said...

If it wasn't so far away (Somerset, right?) I'd come along!

Kate.Kingsley said...

Oooh, well done on being super pro-active with the flyers ~ I bet LOADS of people turn up!

Lucy Diamond said...

Captain Black - yes, or Bath to be precise. Bath Waterstones on Milsom Street, 11am-1pm, all invited!

Hi Kate... I really hope so! I just hope it's not raining that day, and that there are lots of holidaymakers in town, wanting a good read... fingers crossed!

Tam said...

Hi Lucy. Blimey, I'm sure you'll beat Abi. All you need to do is a naked streak down the High Street and you'll be laughing...
(Did I introduce myself, by the way? No? I'm Tam, pleased to meet you!)

Tam said...

Didn't mean to imply that's the only reason people would turn up...I'm embarrassed now...
Oh dear, I do so like to make an impression.

pierre l said...

You need to advertise the event on your blog as well, please.

Leigh said...

Oh, God, it reminds me of the paper round, but with better rewards (to be sure). Loads of people will turn up, at least in part because the great organiser-of-all-things-fair-and-just will see that you deserve them to.

Good luck!

x

Lucy Diamond said...

Hello Tam and welcome! Nice to see you. I think a naked streak down the high street would send passers-by running for cover and screaming to be honest... unless I chased them into Waterstones, perhaps? Hmmm.

Pierre - it's at Waterstones in Bath, 11am-1pm on Saturday. I will write it in big letters next time I do a post!

Leigh - yes, it's exactly like a paper round except with that faint air of guilt that people might get cross with me for pushing my leaflets through their doors! Still... all fliers have been dished out now so the pavement-pounding is all over for another year now!

L-Plate Author said...

Oh I wish I could come too. I will be there in spirit though.

Good luck xx

Lucy Diamond said...

Thanks, lovely L-Plate!