Monday, 7 July 2008

Smashing

Down in the kitchen first thing this morning, braced for the usual rush of making kids' packed lunches, breakfast all round, large cuppa for me, large coffee for LP etc, opened the fridge door to get the milk and... SMASH! The shelf in the door dropped clean off, along with all the jars. Chilli sauce bottle smashed, chilli sauce and broken glass everywhere. Too half-asleep to even swear luckily but that was the only silver lining to be had.

Back for tea after daughter's gymnastics at 5.45 this aft, braced for the usual rush of making the tea, nagging about vegetables, bossing into pyjamas etc, opened the fridge door to get a courgette out and... SMASH! Down fell that bloody shelf again, along with all the jars. This time it was the mayonnaise jar that shattered everywhere. Mayo and glass everywhere. Couldn't rein back the swearing. Children's eyes lighting up at bad words like little candles.

I bet this never happens to Nigella. Ever.

16 comments:

pierre l said...

Sorry to read about your troubles. Is it too obvious to suggest that your shelf is suffering from plastic fatigue? All these new words for your children to learn.
Having said that, I am sure you have enough to do without these kinds of incidents. I hope you will find a solution soon.

Caroline said...

You have courgettes in your fridge?????

*walks away mumbling about evil foods*

Calistro said...

Ahhhhhhhh! What a nightmare! Time for a new shelf/fridge?

I feel your pain. Not once but TWICE today I squeezed gloss paint out of a brush I'd had sitting in a cup of paint thinner, sprayed paint all over the kitchen and had to wipe it off. They say bad things happen in 3s so that's my excuse for giving up the glossing for today. I suggest you leave the fridge well alone! ;o)

wontletlifedefineme said...

Oh no! That's a total nightmare.

Lane said...

I think Nigella has a minion to fetch things from the fridge for her.
And I bet she swears like a trooper:-)

Hope you managed to clear up all the mess. The glass bits get everywhere

Leigh said...

Sorry, but I can't help wondering how you managed to put all the jars back on the shelf without thinking... you know... that it might happen again...

[Actually, I know exactly how you managed to do it. Empathetic vibes heading your way.]

Angie said...

Ah that sounds terrible (and just like something I would do). Have LP make the cuppa this time and fix the fridge for you! (And good luck with the glass. Ugh.)

girl with the mask said...

Posh people always swear more than us mere mortals- I bet Nigella has a mouth like a sailor.

Lucy Diamond said...

Pierre - yes, I think plastic fatigue is the sad fact of the matter. The shelf is now experiencing early retirement in the dustbin. Me, I have dustpan fatigue.

Caroline - where do you keep your courgettes, then? Actually, nobody answer that please.

Calistro - there must be something going around for both of us to experience kitchen traumas! I was starting to wonder if the fridge was trying to put me on a pre-wedding diet or something, restricting my access...but I think that's probably a step too far. It is only a fridge. I think.

Won'tLetLife - I know! Really not what you want when you are multi-tasking your heart out in pre-meal frenzy!

Lane - yes, I bet Nigella's a right potty mouth when she gets going. (Sorry, Nigella, if you ever read this, only joking.) I reckon you're right about the minions too. There is probably one whose specific job description is 'Getting Stuff Out Of The Fridge'. Well, I won't be applying for that one myself anyway, what with my recent track record...

Leigh - I know, I know, I'm an eejit. (I recognise a sub-text when I see one ;).) But... I just thought, if I push the jars to the back of the shelf, it won't come off again. I hadn't factored in the forward-slide caused by door-opening motion. Next time, I'll do a proper scientific analysis. Or get someone else to do the cooking.

Angie - thanks! The glass is no more, safely dustbinned to oblivion, thank goodness. I fear we are entering a new shelf-less era in Fridge World. *sigh*

Girl - yep, deffo. I bet all those curses sound wonderful too, dropping like plums in that lovely posh voice...

Debs said...

I'm not surprised you swore, surely only a complete saint wouldn't have.

It must have taken ages to clean up all that mayo, yak.

Megan said...

Yesterday I dropped the Marmite. I understand,
Megan

Clare Sudbery said...

"Children's eyes lighting up at bad words like little candles."

LOL!

My son never seems to notice when I swear. I can't work out whether his Swearword Radar is not yet fine-tuned, or he just refuses to accept Mummy could say something bad.

I think maybe it's time you removed the shelf from the fridge...

Lucy Diamond said...

Debs - the mayo was pretty gross to clean up - the chilli sauce was worse though, it managed to splatter everything that was still in the fridge. Really infuriating at 7 in the morning - I felt like going straight back to bed!

Megan - ouch, that must have been messy... (and such a waste of good Marmite!) I have dropped one of those big jars on my bare toes before, owwwww.

Clare - I think it was also the thrill of Ooh, drama! Look at Mum's face! as much as me cursing in front of them. Drama-radar is always very sensitive!

L-Plate Author said...

I'm still trying to work out where Caroline keeps her courgettes, me being of a clean mind...

Not once bit twice, couldn't make it up. Laughed out loud xx

L-Plate Author said...

oops laughed even louder when I read my comment back.

Not once BUT twice,ha! x

Lucy Diamond said...

L-Plate, yes, funny that she's gone quiet about her little courgette habit, isn't it? Hmmm....