Friday, 25 July 2008

Another competition!

So... this is the final day of the anagram competition. At the last stroke of midnight, I will be declaring the competition closed, and copying out all the entries for my Other Half's perusal and judgement. Oh all right, so I'll probably do that in the morning, but you know. Trying to add a bit of drama to proceedings etc. I will announce the winner tomorrow evening anyway, I hope your nails can withstand the tension.
If you are mourning the end of this wonderful competition and feeling a tad blue that all the fun and hilarity is all but over... stop! Do not despair! There is ANOTHER competition to launch today to celebrate the almost-publication of Over You... and the very generous Pan's people have donated a splendid bundle of books - feast your eyes on this lot:

My Vintage Summer, Jane Elmor
Tan Lines, JJ Salem
The Hakawati, Rabih Alameddine

The Forgotten Garden, Kate Morton
Proof copy - Love All, Elizabeth Jane Howard

A Set of the new Picador Shots
The Birds, The Bees and Other Secrets, Frances Garood
An Accidental Light, Elizabeth Diamond
The Morality Tale, Sylvia Brownrigg
Touching Distance, Rebecca Abrams

Wow. How good is that? What a prize! I am especially jealous of that new Elizabeth Jane Howard proof copy - I may have to arm wrestle the winner for that one...

So, that I've whetted your appetite, here's what you have to do. This time, I'm looking for limericks please, and the only rule is that your limerick has to contain the words 'OVER', 'YOU' and 'DIAMOND' in any order you like (you can even throw in a 'LUCY' if you're feeling very clever).
You've got a whole week to think up a good one... closing date is Friday 1st August (which just so happens to be...PUBLICATION DAY!) As before, I will type up answers anonymously and ask my other half to choose his favourite. The power that man has at the moment... I hope he can take all this responsibility I'm loading onto his shoulders. And usual terms and conditions apply, judge's decision final, blah blah.
Sorry but I think I'll have to restrict this to UK entries only as it will cost a small fortune to post a parcel of books that size overseas. (But do have a go anyway if you feel creative!)

Right... I think that's all I need to say. Over to you!


Leatherdykeuk said...

I don't think I'm OVER the hill;
YOU've sat there for hours until
you read it on dry land
I think that her novels are brill!

loopyloo100 said...

Best mates in the book: ‘Over You!’
Lucy Diamond’s the author; it’s true!
Please take the lead
For a sexy, fab read:
And on Amazon make a review!

Lucy Diamond said...

You two are amazing - so speedy! And both corking limericks too. Blimey - the standard has been set very high already. Well done!
Ooh this is fun... come on, let's have some more!

brian said...

A wily old farmer from Bognor
Was quite startled to see a hog on 'er
Farmland one day
As her one crop was hay,
Which doesn't raise hogs - not in Bognor.

Yes, well, you find a rhyme for Bognor.

Lucy Diamond said...

Ahh...Brian, it's always nice to see a limerick featuring Bognor but I'm afraid I can't allow this entry. You need to have the words 'OVER', 'YOU' and 'DIAMOND' within the limerick. Sorry! Rules are rules, and all that...

Kate.Kingsley said...

I shall spend the whole weekend working on my limmerick (don't think I've ever written one of those before?!) ~ v impressed with the ones so far!

Just got an email from to say that "over You" has been posted :-)

Lucy Diamond said...

Look forward to reading your limerick... the entries so far are extremely impressive, I agree. But think of that prize, Kate!

Tina said...

Hi: I love your blog and just wanted to let you know that I have nominated you for a blog award.

Calistro said...

Come out of lurk mode with my offering!

There once was a woman from Bath
Who wrote novels that made women gasp
Playground mums hurried over
to the ‘Diamond’ and they asked her
“Is it true? Is Sadie really you?”

Lucy Diamond said...

Tina, how kind, thank you!

Calistro, that's a fantastic one, I am so honoured that you delurked for the occasion! :)

Kate.Kingsley said...

Wondered what you were up to when I saw this headline on Yahoo:
"Diamond to write tell all book"


Graeme K Talboys said...

There was a young woman called Lucy
Whose writing is ever so juicy
Over You is a diamond
Of which I'm so fond
It gives the me the flesh all goosey.

Clare Sudbery said...

"You've got a whole week to think up a good one"

Does this mean we're only allowed one entry each? If this is the case I might have to go away and think carefully instead of doing my usual trick of dashing it off super-fast...

I do love writing limericks.

Lucy Diamond said...

Graeme - yay, brilliant! Love it.

Clare - sorry to be misleading. Should have said, you can enter as many times as you like. Go for it, mrs!

PatP said...

I'm going to get Over You
In the post, I am!
From the author
Lucy Diamond
For my anagram!

Calistro said...

2nd attempt!

Over there is a woman called Sue
Who wrote two fab novels for you
They’re diamond books
You’ll definitely be hooked
So buy one or I’ll post you a poo!

PatP said...

Lucy Diamond lives in Somerset
She is the author who
Wrote Any Way you Want Me
And then
Wrote Over You

Lucy Diamond said...

Pat - not one, but two! A burst of creativity there, hoorah!

And Calistro, that just made me laugh out loud! Love it.

Ooh, it's getting harder to choose already... Keep sending them in, please!

Gaz said...

Lucy Diamond's well loved the world over,
From Turkmenistan through to Dover,
You know she's good looking,
Great at writing, and cooking,
And lucky as Six four-leafed clover.

"Over You" is her latest great book,
I urge you to go have a look.
"Any way that you want me"
Will come back to haunt me,
I'll get a copy, by hook or by crook.

Pans People have donated prizes
Of some books, in various guises
For limerics. Compose
Short verse, or great prose.
And...I'm out of ideas. No surprises!

Bowen T Hunter

Annie Bright said...

Hi Lucy

It's good to find your blog. I found my way here via Pat's blog. :-)

Here's my limerick offering :-))

There was a young blogger named Lucy,
Who set us a task most juicy,
'You must ponder over a verse',
'About a diamond?' I curse,
'But Bob took mine and left me in Guernsey!'


Lucy Diamond said...

Gaz... I'm speechless - three for the price of one! Very impressive, that man!

Hello Annie and welcome to the blog! Fab limerick - I hope it's not a true story, though?!

Annie Bright said...

Hi Lucy

Thank you for the welcome. :-)

No, it's not true ... thank goodness. :-))


brian said...

That'll teach me not to read rules!

Lucy Diamond said...

Annie - glad to hear it! :)

Brian - there's plenty of time to come up with another one, you know!

Lily Sheehan said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lily Sheehan said...

Oh my, I'm not worthy. I'll a go anyway:

There was a young writer down South,
Who left her readers down in the mouth,
Dont get me wrong shes a diamond, Lucy,
But they've finished her book,
its all over, you see,

I chose to omit the west part as it didnt rhyme. I'll have another go later if I think of anything better. Good Comp - I enjoyed writing that

Clare Sudbery said...

Multiple entries, woohoo!

Here are some to be going on with.

Whilst walking in fields full of clover
My lover said, "Won't you bend over?
There's stuff we could do
And feel, me and you.
Like diamonds and fresh super nova."

If diamonds are sparkly and shiny
But shitzus are yappy and whiny
Then I've thought it over:
A rock, not a Rover!
Cos big is much better than tiny.

There was a young Witness from Dover
Whose marriage was practically over.
She said to her spouse,
"Fuck you and your rows.
This diamond ring's bad for Jehovah!"

Hmmm. Need to try harder, methinks.

Clare Sudbery said...

Oh no, I broke the rules!

There's a "you" missing from the second one.

Here's a revised version:

If diamonds are sparkly and shiny
But shitzus are yappy and whiny
Then you think it over:
A rock, not a Rover!
Cos big is much better than tiny.

Lucy Diamond said...

Yay, Lily, like it! I especially like being called 'young' :)

Clare!! I am genuinely amazed that you can be so creative so soon after childbirth. Go, super-woman, go!

Lily Sheehan said...

You know that lady called Lucy,
who lived over there by the sea,
she wrote some best sellers
and got lots o' fellas,
Diamond ring on her finger for free.

Lily Sheehan said...

Lucy's got a diamond geezer,
who bought her a freezer,
over from France,
he left all her plants,
now she cant wait for Yousef to leave her.

No? I think I will give it a rest now!!!

Lucy Diamond said...

Oh, they're pouring in now, these limericks! I think I have unleashed the limericist in you, Lily! Remember that my beloved other half is judging though... I'm not sure he'll look too favourably on all this talk of 'lots of fellas'! :)

Lily Sheehan said...

lol oops sorry to your other half. the last 2 were fictional, honest. Well unless your other half is called Yousef and got you a freezer that is. I think I will stick to short stories and novels from now on, but it was a lot of fun

Clare Sudbery said...

Will Mr Diaond be given anonymous entries to judge, or will there be names attached??

He might get a bit sick of seeing the name Clare... I've truly got the bug now.

I'm feeling all bothered and blue
I can't seem to get over you.
A diamond would help
(I mean it, don't yelp)
Or even a topaz would do.

That Lucy's a diamond geezette
She's written her bestest book yet
It's called Over You
It's better than poo
And people will buy it, I bet!

I see something glint over there
A diamond, I think, in her hair
She'll give it to you
As long as you woo
Her nicely (go on, she's called Clare).

I see something shine over there!
A diamond kept safe by a bear!
Who'll never let go
Unless you can sew
A key to the door of his lair!

Clare Sudbery said...

I guess maybe I better stop now, or it's going to get silly...

Lucy Diamond said...

Lily - no, don't let me stop you! There is no Yousef in my life so you're quite safe!

Clare - I will type them all out anonymously so he'll have no idea who's written what, or how many. You keep going, if you want to!

Lily Sheehan said...

OK you twisted my arm:

Read Over you it’s the biggest hit yet
Written by a lady who lives in Somerset
Diamond by name, Diamond by nature
You’ll never get better than Lucy I’m sure
I promise you’ll love it on that I will bet

There was a YOUng man from France
Who couldn’t stop wetting his pants
No woman would date him
Or OVERly rate him
Until he gave them a DIAMOND advance

Lily Sheehan said...

You promised you’d always be true
Now Im trying to get over you
You promised a ring
With a diamond setting
But all I got was hullabaloo

There was a young man called Simon
Who found himself a 9 carat diamond
he handed it over to me
for nothing you see
so I sold it to a nice little pieman

Lucy Diamond said...

Four more!! You are brilliant at this lark. Go, Lily, go!

Calistro said...

There was a young lady called Sue
Who wrote a great novel or two
Her words sparkle like diamonds
Her characters aren’t shy ones
So buy "Anyway..." and "Over You"

Lucy Diamond said...


Clare Sudbery said...

There once was a witch from the Highlands
Who specialised mostly in fire wands
She gave some to you
Who waved one or two
And drenched me all over with diamonds!

If only my books were more saleable
Cash hand over fist by the trailer-ful
But I've seen the light
That's it, you guessed right:
I hear Lucy Diamond's available!`

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