Tuesday, 10 June 2008

Rambling stream of consciousness

Brrrr. Had a nightmare last night that I was at a fancy dinner with hundreds of people, and suddenly it was announced that I would be giving a talk on the similiarities between Mary Poppins and Elizabeth Barrett Browning starting...NOW! I had a sheaf of papers in front of me and was shuffling through them, trying to find the things I wanted to say but it was torture, my mind was blank, my notes were gobbledegook and I was waffling all kinds of nonsense about Mary Poppins to fill the silence (nothing at all about Elizabeth BB, obviously). It was a relief to wake up - except it wasn't, really, as my youngest daughter and son were having a loud argument about ten centimetres from my head about whose turn it was to sit on a particular chair in the kitchen for breakfast....arrrrggghhh... I think the Mary Poppins debacle was slightly preferable on reflection.

Onto cheerier things - hey, what about Holland last night then? Hup, Holland, Hup, as I now know to say. Oooh I bet there are some sore Dutch heads this morning. See? A bit of Lucy Diamond magic goes a long way. I am doing all right with my predictions so far, I have to say, thrashing LP in our competition by a mighty three points. Not the same, though, is it, when the England players are all lagering it up on Wayne Rooney's stag do rather than... well, all right, rather than going out on penalties to Germany....

Onto even cheerier things... We're off to a Wedding Meeting this morning. How exciting! We haven't been back to the place we're getting married since we booked it so I hope it's the rural gorgeousness I remember and that it hasn't actually transformed into a small back yard with barbed wire fences and broken glass underfoot complete with snarling Staffordshire bull terriers straining on ropes, baring their teeth. Last night, I was going through the documents we need to send back to the registrar for the service and got really annoyed to be honest. All that 'Who gives this women away?' rubbish - I mean! So bloody medieval. If they dare ask that in my service, I will be forced to shout, "No bugger, thank you very much!" in response. Gawd. I can see it now, me with my hands on my hips, finger wagging, tearing a strip off the registrar. Excellent. Am looking forward to it already...

10 comments:

Helen said...

and make sure the registrar will say "husband and wife" instead of "man and wife"!

B said...

Hee to the dream!

I'm sure they'll take the dogs away for the day ;)

At our wedding, I made the point of telling the registrar that a) I went by Ms before and planned to go by Ms afterwards [still do]) and b) we were both changing surnames so I wasn't taking his... at the end of the ceremony (luckily just to me and not to everyone present) she said 'let me be the first to say Congratulations Mrs *hisoldsurname*'. She meant well, but it was... WRONG AND WRONG. I actually wrote to the registrar's office to complain. Never heard anything.

The only time I can see the being given away thing is if you have been divorced and have kids and a relatively friendly relationship; some might think that being given away by the ex demonstrates to them the whole no hard feelings thing. I wouldn't ever do that myself (would still feel creepy) but I have heard of it happening once. Other than that - no. Ain't noone giving me away! Although I did enter with my whole family - sisters and mum AND dad - which I liked. If his family had been there would've been nice to do the same for him too but it didn't go like that, so. Meh.

Anyway I will stop the wedding reminiscing and go make a cuppa now. :)

JJ said...

Oh I'm chuckling at the thought of your wagging finger...
JJx

wontletlifedefineme said...

I'm not that hungover actually. ;)

Can't you have the wedding ceremony the way you like it? The whole giving someone away thing is pretty ancient (they don't traditionally do that in the Netherlands by the way). And it is your wedding after all.

Lucy Diamond said...

Helen - good point, absolutely!

b - I am not changing my name either. I am too used to this one and feel too old to change it now. Besides, more to the point, why should I?? I will watch out for that 'Congratulations Mr and Mrs' thing though. Gawd, it's a minefield!
Re the 'giving away' malarkey, I would still like to walk in with my dad (and five little bridesmaids!) but I will make it crystal clear I am not chattels to be given away, thank you, even by my lovely dad.
Hope you enjoyed your cuppa!

JJ - You may laugh now but wait till it's there on YouTube and I am famous for being The Bride Who Said No. Although, let's face it, it would probably be a loud more strident and ranty than a mere 'No'... The Bride Who Delivered A Lecture About Marriage Ceremony Semantics for the 21st Century perhaps - yeah, I'm up for a bit of that!

Marjolein - don't worry, I will have my way, I will have FIRM WORDS with the registrar beforehand. The poor sod. I feel sorry for them already.

Lucy Diamond said...

Oh yes, and it was beautiful and gorgeous there, so that's a relief. My only worry now is that the ceremony is on a sort of balcony area so I have to CLIMB STAIRS in front of everyone to get married. So that's the massive spike heels out then... I've been wondering whether I can get away with wearing sparkly flipflops to my own wedding?!

Zinnia Cyclamen said...

Ewww horrid anxiety dreams, I get those, I know just what you mean about it being a relief to wake up. Sparkly flip-flops? Yes, of course you can!

Lucy Diamond said...

Zinnia, I'm starting to think I'm a bit disturbed...last night I dreamt Rio Ferdinand was going out with my best mate but trying it on with me. Now that was scary!
Glad you think sparkly flip-flops will pass the test, I am rubbish at heels, just know I will go arse over tit if I try to wear them on the big day!

Rowan Coleman said...

Hi Lucy - thanks ever so for you kind comment about THE ACCIDENTAL WIFE its great to you know you're enjoying it! I am very much looking forward to meeting you at the next racers meet, it will be great to have a good old chin wag!

Lucy Diamond said...

I am looking forward to a chinwag too! Hope to finish the book tonight - can't wait to get back to it!