Wednesday, 4 June 2008

Is this what you call a mid-life crisis?

Ouch.

Seriously, ouch. My arse feels as if it's been whacked by a bag of spanners. Owwww!

I've just got back from my first go at Gymnastics, if you're wondering. It was quite surreal. I did handstands! Headstands! Trampolining! Cartwheels! Running and jumping off a trampet thing! It was like being a kid again, really exciting and quite scary. Must confess, I nearly bottled going there this morning. And if I'd known just how bloody good the other women there were going to be, I probably wouldn't have gone. I was expecting the standard to be pretty low, to be honest. A few forward rolls, a bit of mucking about on the trampolining etc. But no! All quite serious. And some women there were doing backflips! Handsprings! Round-offs, whatever the hell they are. !!!!! Now that's what I call bloody impressive, especially as everyone was a thirty-something mum.

But there's something about doing a handstand as a thirty-something mum that feels very daring. And exciting. And very out of the ordinary - it's not all that often I find myself upside down these days. And yes, you bet I'm going to use this as material in a book somewhere or other....

Right, just off to practise some cartwheels down the garden, anyway... *


* a complete lie

20 comments:

Helen said...

I wish I could do a back flip. Right now in fact.

Calistro said...

Gymnastics? Through choice?!

I can't think of anything WORSE! God just the word 'gymnastics' brings me out in hives. I hated all sport at school but I hated gymnastics so much that, if it was a living person, I would have chopped it up into little pieces and burned them.

Um.

Yes.

Sorry.

Got a bit carried away there.

I'm not a big fan of gymnastics and have some horrific childhood memories associated with it. Can you tell? ;o)

JJ said...

OMG. I am SO impressed. My days of cartwheels and headstands are definitely behind my big fat backside.

Lucy Diamond said...

Helen, can you really do back flips? I used to be able to somersault on the trampoline but not your actual back flips. Ohhhh... I want to do one too! Well... when my bottom has stopped aching, that is!

Calistro, lol, sorry if I touched a raw nerve there! I always MUCH preferred gymnastics to any outdoors stuff like hockey and netball and anything else that involved running about. I wasn't brilliant at it or anything, just liked it. I guess we'll have to agree to disagree there!

JJ, honestly, you would not have been at all impressed if you'd seen me falling flat on my face trying to do a running cartwheel (I still can't actually believe they expected me to DO this to be honest) - you would have had a good old laugh. Like everyone else did. Sigh....

wontletlifedefineme said...

Wow! I'm impressed! :)

I really hate gymnastics with a vengeance. I don't like it, I'm not good at it, and until I went to university I was forced to practise it several hours a week.

Okay, that's not completely true. When I was 16 I took a note to school that said I couldn't do PE, doctor's orders. It was only meant to be for a while, but I never told the teachers I was fine again. In the end none of the PE teachers knew in whose class I was supposed to be anyway so they were all very nice to me (happy to see me go really).

In my defense, I did practise windsurfing, jazz dance and horseback riding (sort of in secret).

-Marjolein

SpiralSkies said...

You are truly a better woman than me. I can still do a crab but only when I'm pissed. I'd be in plaster rather than plastered if I attempted any of that acrobatic malarkey. I just really don't I have the right bra for it?

Some covert camera phone pics would be entertaining and, um, envy-inducing.

Lucy Diamond said...

Ooh Marjolein, there's some major gymnastics-bashing going on in these comments! I love your everlasting sick note though - how brilliant. I wish I'd had one of those!

SpiralSkies - a crab when pissed, oh you just made me laugh. How I would love to see that!!
I was a bit scared of breaking my bones today, I must say. And now I know how tough it is, I'm not convinced I'll be going back again... Might just have to wuss out!

Sarah*G* said...

i feel tired just after reading that. Activity through choice?? I should do more of it and reduce my big lardy bum. I can just about handling picking up the phone to dial out for pizza! lol!

wontletlifedefineme said...

That sicknote is my most mayor accomplishment in life so far. ;)

But hey, if gymnastics works for you, good for you! Don't let our bashing get you down.

girl with the mask said...

Round-offs! That is advanced stuff. Do they still do those kit-kat badge things in levels six to one? Will you do one of those?

Lucy Diamond said...

Sarah *G* - picking up the phone for pizza calls sounds a very sensible idea to me this morning - I could hardly sleep last night for my aching bottom. Sorry if that is TMI but I am now starting to wonder why the hell I thought I could do gymnastics in the first place!

Marjolein - yes, get that sicknote achievement on you cv at once! Sterling work!

Girl - I dunno about Kit-Kat badges, I might just settle for the Kit-Kats to be honest... Have seized up in all sorts of uncomfortable places this morning and muttering "Never again!" approximately ever five minutes!

Clare Sudbery said...

"I did handstands! Headstands! Trampolining! Cartwheels! Running and jumping off a trampet thing! It was like being a kid again, really exciting and quite scary."

Oh wow, I'm sooo jealous. You've taken me right back to when I was 11. I wanna do it too! I don't know if they have anything like that in Manchester, will have to investigate. Although may have to wait a few weeks...

I can still do a backward walkover (when I'm not pregnant), cartwheels and round-offs. I do them occasionally to show off. Although my backward walkover is more of a case of, throw myself backwards in ungainly fashion and hope that I land on my hands (which I do about 50% of the time), then kick legs frantically several times until eventually they come back over my head, slowly, one at a time, with a bit of beetle-like flailing in the middle. I often just end up flat on my back.

"I wish I could do a back flip."

Me too. I never did master that. Apparently my other 'alf could do it though. He could do the running-up-the-wall-and-turning-right-over-in-a-circle thing, too. Or so he says.

I had to stop gymnastics lessons when I was 11, cos the older age group met way on the other side of town, and my dad refused to take me. I always used to watch them on the olympics and think wistfully, that could've been me (it couldn't though, i was never that good).

Clare Sudbery said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Clare Sudbery said...

"I always MUCH preferred gymnastics to any outdoors stuff like hockey and netball and anything else that involved running about."

Yeah, I only ever liked stuff that was just me, where I didn't have to co-ordinate with anyone else or worry about being picked for a team. Running and gymnastics, that was my limit.

Don't give up though Ms Diamond, keep going! It's always the same with any new form of exercise, you use muscles you haven't used before (or for a long time) and it hurts. But it never lasts more than a week or few. Persevere, you have to, so I can live vicariously through you! And anyway, you said it was exciting and fun. So ner.

Felix goes to gymnastics at a massive gymnastics centre every Sat morning. I've never seen any grown-ups there, only terrifyingly impressive teenagers. But maybe they do a quiet class for grownups one evening, when nobody's watching... I'll have to investigate.

Lucy Diamond said...

You can do a backward walkover??? Oh my god. I am so impressed. All these gymnasts coming out of the closet! And what IS a round-off? I still don't know but it sounds scary to me.
I really don't know about persevering. I didn't do too badly at the class (esp on the trampoline) but I think I was the most crap person there, to be honest. The others were all so scarily good! And now I've got the fear that it's all too difficult for me...
I dunno. I'll see how long this muscle-ache goes on and keep you posted!

Clare Sudbery said...

A round-ff: We used to call them arab springs when I was a kid. It's a cartwheel, but instead of your legs coming down separately, when you're vertically upside-down, you snap your two legs together and land with a bounce, both feet at once. Also you land facing back the way you came, instead of still facing sideways as you would with a cartwheel.

Actually I find round-offs easier than cartwheels.

I bet they're not *all* brilliant in your class. That's a common trick our minds play on us: We see a few people better than us, and conclude that every single person there is brilliant, and we are the only normal one. A bit like when your kid says to you, "But Mum, everyone else has ten packets of crisps for tea" and you know full well it's not true.

Look carefully next time, and see whether there are others who are less than brilliant. I bet there are, and I bet they feel the same way you do, and think that you are better than they are.

Maybe take a similarly-abled friend with you, if it really bothers you? But I bet the aching will stop and you will better at it all pretty quickly if you persevere. And don't forget, you *did* say it was exciting!

I can only do round-offs, backward walkovers (more like backward flump-overs really), cartwheels and forward rolls, by the way. And every single one of them is extremely ungainly, and I fall over spectacularly as often as I don't.

Lucy Diamond said...

Ahh yes, Arab springs, gotcha.
Clare, there were only 6 of us there in the class so when I say everyone was better than me, I do mean everyone!! But you're right, I shouldn't let that put me off. Just feel knackered at the moment. Hopefully next week I will have an energy surge and feel like going again...

Clare Sudbery said...

"there were only 6 of us "

Oh alright then. ;o)

But I bet they're all looking at someone else and thinking "she's better than me"...

Topol M said...

Later, Comedy Central expressed interest in the series, and Parker and Stone created a pilot episode for the channel.




Mazda Alternatorsigned autograph

pham said...

A mother was talking to her football player son
-My son, my friend will bring her daughter to visit our family this afternoon and you can see her. Remember to stay home.
The young man was unwilling:
-Aw, mom, this afternoon I have to go to play football. So how can I stay home?
- No one will die if you beg for a little time off.
-Ijustcan't,mom.Thisafternoon'smatchisvery important. I have to attend it at any cost.
-Ah! So, you'll stay home and I'll tell your dad to go to replace you. Is that OK?
dentists san diegorolex daytona replica