Thursday, 15 November 2007

Everybody needs good neighbours...

Early evening, yesterday. Ding-a-ling! (That’s my doorbell, not a bike bell if you were confused – it’s the original bell on a curly-wurly thing attached to a bit of string – one of my fave things about this house.)

Anyway – I’ll start again. Ding-a-ling!
H-t-b goes to answer the door. Neighbour is standing there looking rather shifty. (NB For those of you with excellent memories, the Polish backpackers next door moved out in Sept. We’ve got mature students that side now.)

Just letting you know that we’re having some friends round tonight and setting off a few fireworks. Hope it doesn’t disturb your kids.
Thanks for letting us know. I’m sure a few fireworks won’t disturb them.
Well… Actually, it’s a bit more than ‘a few’. We’ve got about…um…seventy rockets…

Seventy rockets! And these are terraced houses with small gardens, and houses backing onto ours. Loads and loads of kids in this particular bit of the terrace, too. We’re not exactly talking an ideal venue for a huge pyrotechnic display.

Oh well, we think. They are very quiet, considerate neighbours. They are nice. Maybe he was exaggerating about the seventy rockets?

He was not exaggerating. At eight o’clock, Armageddon begins. Bang, bang, flash, crash, Ooooooh!
Eldest daughter comes downstairs grumbling that she can’t sleep. Meanwhile, the bedroom that the other two share is lit up like a disco, and the cat is quaking under the kitchen table, ears pricked, eyes wide in alarm.

At nine o’clock, it is still going on. Bang, crash, sparkle, Oooooh!
Eldest daughter still awake, coming downstairs approx every ten minutes to say that she still can’t sleep. Youngest daughter wakes up frightened and crying.

At ten o’clock, it is still going on. (How long does it take to set off seventy bloody rockets anyway?)
Eldest still awake. Youngest awake again too, sobbing and saying she hates fireworks. I am now agreeing wholeheartedly, and starting to hate the neighbours and all.
Son, bless him, has slept through the whole thing.

Ten-fifteen – it’s all over. Youngest gives a sigh of relief and falls back to sleep. Eldest finally retires to bed muttering darkly. H-t-b and I practise our stern looks ready to scare the neighbours with next time we see them.
Bring back the Polish backpackers, I say! Okay, so they had terrible taste in music but at least they didn’t have enough cash for more than a few sparklers.

Bah humbug.


Caroline said...

I can imagine the stress of it all, but bless you son for sleeping through :)

Your neighbours are inconsiderate and mean. You should seek revenge.
*evil laugh*


Pacha said...

Hopefully it'll only happen once a year??? If they are mature students they probably will be away during the festivities? Ay ay ay, if not you're in trouble on New Years Day (night)!

Neighbours! I live in the same building as my neighbours. Once, they chopped down a beautiful nut tree in front of my kitchen window WITHOUT TELLING/WARNING/ASKING US! One day it was there, and the other it was gone!

This happened 3-4 years ago and I am still in shock and full of HATRED towards them (because I don't know how to let go...)

You should DEFINITELY seek revenge. Get kids high on sweets and exhaustion and set them free in garden at midnight! That always works with us! (ahem)

Lucy Diamond said...

Caroline - I know, bless him indeed. I think I was like that too as a child, though - once on a camping holiday, I slept through the caravan next to us being on fire!
I did think about revenge. But now I'm wondering if the fireworks were the NEIGHBOURS' revenge for my eldest daughter's birthday party last month. It was soooo loud. They have probably been slagging US off on a blog somewhere. Ahem.

Pacha - you really made me laugh! I am outraged about the nut tree incident though. How could they do that?!
The best kind of revenge we could get on the students would be early Sunday morning shrieking and bellowing (from the kids, I mean) to really intensify the neighbours' hangovers. Ha ha ha!!!

Mind you, now I come to think of it, this is usually how our Sunday mornings pan out anyway. Oh.

Leigh said...

Ooh, I love you, Lucy Diamond (even if it's not your real name). I'm glad I'm not the only one.

I posted a good old rant about some neighbours of my Dad's, who did just the same thing while we were visiting last weekend.

Bah Bah Humbug. I quite agree. Shouldn't be allowed.

Neighbours' Revenge? My mother had a CD of bagpipe music...

Lucy Diamond said...

Hello Leigh! Loved reading your rant (and your blog in general actually - glad to have stumbled upon you!) Bagpipe music is excellent revenge. Hmmmm, I wonder if Amazon stock any similar CDs I could try?!

Lane said...

Gawd, that's awful. And I bet your garden was full of the horrible shells. Think what they could have done with all that money that they just set light to.
Bloody people eh? Who'd live next door to them.

Lucy Diamond said...

I know!!! So much for students being skint. Maybe they got a job lot cheap after the 5th.

I haven't been in the garden today but can see theirs from my window and it looks like something from a World War 1 film. Well. A World War 1 film with a spinning washing line thing, that is.

Fiona said...

On fireworks night/week/month,my dogs and I have to dope ourselves up with drugs and drink because we're so scared and shaky. I know, any excuse.

But there should be a limit to the amount of fireworks you can set off in one night in a private garden. In fact I'm sure there is. So think on that you 'more money than is good for you'students!

Can you tell I have an ology in ranting?

Lucy Diamond said...

Drugs and drink because of the fireworks? Yeah yeah, Fiona, I believe you. We believe Fiona, don't we? ;) Actually, maybe that'll be my solution for November 5 2008 - if I haven't already driven out the prats next door with my hard Paddington Bear stares over the wall, that is!

Ooh - an ology in ranting. Excellent. I reckon I'm going to get one of those too. It'll look lovely on my cv. :)