Tuesday, 22 May 2007

Well, I don't love you

My two-year-old is becoming a force to be reckoned with. Scary, I believe the word is. We had a full-on barney the other evening about who was going to put the 'Shopping List' game away.
I said she had to, because she'd got it out of the cupboard and tipped it all over the floor.

She said, no, not fancying it, and no doubt assuming that Muggins would tidy it up as usual.

I dug my heels in and said she had to do it. Went through the whole rigmarole of "I'm going to count to three...", and threats of having to go straight to bed without a story, the works.

She said, no.

So off I took her to bed, screaming and thrashing around (her, not me, although I did feel like joining in, to be honest). She then went on to bellow and rage for another five minutes, by which point I was fearing for the lining of her throat.

I went in and said goodnight, gave her a cuddle, and said, "I still love you".
She said, no.
I said, what do you mean 'no'?
She said (deadpan, looking me full in the face), I don't love you.

It took my breath away, to be honest. "Well, I love YOU," I said again, giving her another chance.
"Well, I DON'T love YOU," she replied firmly, little nose in the air.

She's only two. I know already the teenage years are going to be hell.

18 comments:

Drunk Mummy said...

I have had to do the 'Well, I love you...' thing, through gritted teeth, on several occasions - especially with my daughter. Some times when she is in a rage, I swear her head is going to start rotating, like Linda Blair in The Exorcist.

liz fenwick said...

Yes, its tough when the start it so young but on the bright side maybe it will end sooner???

What usually works for mine btw was taking out a large black bin liner and threatening to throw the lot away.........

JJ said...

Well done, you sound as though you remained very calm!

My daughter did that for 2 years (well the tantrum bit, anyway) and she had such impressive persistance: she howled and howled for hours. Then at about - oooh, I can't remember when - she turned into the most delightful little thing. She's now 11, and can still sulk for England, but I guess it's hormones threatening now.

Lucy Diamond said...

Drunk Mummy - they know how to twist the knife, don't they? I think my molars will be ground down to nothing, the amount of teeth-gritting I anticipate doing over the next few years. (Few? I mean 'rest of my life' no doubt.)

Liz, I like your bin-liner idea. I have threatened them with the charity bag before, but somehow the idea of toys going in the DUSTBIN seems even more extreme. Excellent - thank you for my new secret weapon!

JJ - two years???? Gawd. I will be on the valium by then, I think...

beta mum said...

The next stage is when they say "You don't love me Mummy" which is a touch more manipulative but easy to counter with "Oh yes I do" which can then turn into a pantomime type game.

Lucy Diamond said...

Yes, I've had the occasional "You don't love me" from the other two. Eldest daughter does a mean flounce and door-slam out of the room, too.
Oh, the joys just go on and on, don't they?!

Jessica said...

Hmm, I have a feeling I was worse than this. Did I tell you my poor Mum once got thrown off a bus because of the gravity, distraction levels and sheer volume of the tantrum I was having?

And I'm reasonably normal now.

Jen said...

"I do love you, but I don't like your behaviour" is what I used to trot out at 'cross' bedtimes.

Sadly, No 1 son has had the gift of the gab since he was a year old and could usually give me a jolly good explanation as to why I'd tidy up so much better. Even worse, No 2 son used to be an obsessive tidier-up and things were always meticulously filed.

I blame the parents :(

Lucy Diamond said...

Blimey Jessica - either bus drivers were a lot more draconian back then, or you were a nightmare! I'm sure it was the former...wasn't it?!

Jen, I love that line, have stored it up for future usage. Thank you. I get all my best parenting tips from you lot, who needs Penelope Leach et al?

Caroline said...

I love that you are normal. And that normal family things happen ... even though you're a right famous writer :)

I do the 'I am going to count to three' thing but now littlie counts with me. Think I am not stern enough.

x

Jessica said...

Erm, yes, of course it was, must have been.

Actually, no. I was a total horror.

Lucy Diamond said...

Hi Caroline, I have found that counting to three works on my oldest two children really well - but my youngest just stares me out, sneering at my counting in a scary Yeah?-Make-Me! styley. Last night we introduced the Moaning Step (not the same as Naughty Step) to put her on when she was whinging and moaning about everything. You have a good old moan on the Moaning Step, we said, and come back in the living room when you're cheerful again.
It actually worked, which I think we were all a bit surprised about. (I think I'll be taking up permanent residence on the Moaning Step myself pretty soon.)

Jessica - I am taking heart from the fact that you are so lovely now despite horror-toddler years as an encouraging thing. (How long did the horror phase last though? Please tell me it was short-lived!)

JJ said...

Great idea Lucy. I'm going to implement a moaning step immediately!
JJx

Nichola said...

And people keep asking me why I don't want kids!!! ;)

Lucy Diamond said...

Good luck with the moaning step, JJ - I am also thinking of having a Fighting Step, Rude Step and a Grumpy Step. Lucky I don't live in a bungalow really...

Oh, Nichola! It's not ALL bad. Honest...

Nichola said...

Back again!

I just tagged you on my blog for 'eight random things'. :D

spymum said...

Wow. Big hug. And you did a sterling job, mummy!

Now take comfort from this! It is definitely a girl thing, (or are my two boys just particularly monosyllabic and lumpen!) and it shows that she is bright, articulate and clever! And has a high emotional IQ!

(And she does love you. Very much)

Lucy Diamond said...

SpyMum, I am comforted, thank you!