Tuesday, 1 May 2007

Stressing

I am stressing. Still!! I feel like THE MOVE is all anyone can talk to me about at the moment. Every time I do the school run, someone else comes up to ask about it, and I have to go through it all again, getting really sad as I do so (and trying to keep that low-key in front of the kids). To be honest, I'm just sick of talking about the whole thing. ARRRGGHH. I almost just want to go now, get it over with. But at the same time, part of me wants to put the whole move off until next year, when I've had time to say all my goodbyes...
Oh, I am so going to miss my friends here. I know it's not like we're leaving the country and we'll never see them again, but all the same, it's the end of an era. Two of my children were born in this house. I have had five very happy years here - and it's definitely been the case for me that the friends made during those tough early years of parenthood have been very close bonds. I can't imagine that happening again somewhere else. I'm really not sure we are doing the right thing, leaving at all, but there you go.

As for the novel, I thought by now I'd have relaxed about it, and all the fuss would be over. But no, another fear has struck, which is that nobody's buying it, and I'm powerless to do anything about that, and why am I even bothering to write another novel, I will be a washed-up failure nobody wants to publish blah blah. Bloody hell. Some people are never satisfied, are they?!
(By the way, I know lots of you lovely blogfriends and readers have already bought copies of Any Way You Want Me and even plugged it on your own blogs/sites - thank you soooo much - but just in case you haven't managed to get hold of one yet, Amazon are currently selling it for a mere £3.99. Just thought I'd throw that in. Ahem.)

Despite all these worries, I did have a really nice day yesterday. Partner had to work on Saturday so he had the day off yesterday and he, I and our youngest went into town and pottered about before having lunch and a beer together, out in the sunshine. It was sooo lovely. Really relaxing. We have made a pact that we are definitely both going to stay part-timers even when the kids are all at school so that we can have one day a week off together, to do things on our own, without small people to think about. Looking forward to that already. So it's not all bad...

I've got the copy-edit of Oliver Moon's Fangtastic Sleepover to go through this morning, then I'm going to work on something completely new to cheer myself up. And try to stop worrying...

15 comments:

hellojed said...

You're not afraid of change though which is great. Other people would have just stayed put because it was familiar. And not come out of their comfort zone to write a novel.

Lucy Diamond said...

Oh, that's very nice of you to say so. I am going to come back and re-read these words when I am having my next wobble! Thank you.
Like your new pic, by the way!

Helen said...

I think what you are feeling and stressing about is perfectly normal. Us women do tend to stress rather a lot I think. I mean, I'm sat here worrying about the dishwasher that has to be emptied for goodness sake! I know that is not on the same scale as your concerns (!) BUT remember everything you were worrying about pre-book launch and how everything has turned out well. Things do tend to turn out well in the end however much we worry...you'll see.

Lucy Diamond said...

Thanks, Helen, I'm sure you're right. This morning's post has brought a mortgage application, letter from the surveyor and two massive envelopes of stuff from the solicitors, so I'm hoping that getting stuck into that little lot tonight will make me feel ever so slightly more in control of the situation!

PS Just want to add, in case anyone was wondering, no, our two-year-old didn't partake in the lunchtime beer yesterday as today's post might suggest! No need to call social services, honestly...

liz fenwick said...

It's all part of the moving process. Try and relax. Hard I know. Do more of enjoying the sunshine thing and less worrying. In my local independent bookstore they are down to one copy of your book from the five that i saw originally! Breath........

Lucy Diamond said...

Ooh really? That's good news! Four copies sold, hoorah. They've obviously got good taste in your neck of the woods, Liz! ;)
Thanks for telling me that. It made me smile. And you're right about trying to relax, too - some time off for good behaviour is just what I need!

Caroline said...

Hi.
Oooooh I feel for you.
I am taking huge steps this week too, regarding my move. I can't bring myself to talk about it. Ahhhhhhh.

Do you think you are entering the post publication blues that someone spoke of a while back?????

Your writing is fab and you're a star. And I know this kind of stuff. So none of your worrying. Drink more beer instead.
xxxx

Clare said...

's all Big Stuff that's going on in your life at the mo. Of course it's stressful, and of course you will worry and have doubts - that's to be expected. But try not to beat yourself up for being human!

There were good reasons you chose to move, and a change is as good as a rest, as they say... sure some stuff will be lost, but other stuff will be gained to fill its place.

And who said you can't make new friends? Course you can, if you want to.

{{HUGS}}

Kate said...

Got a feeling it might have been me who mentioned PPB and it is all entirely normal, my dear. It'd be worrying if you didn't feel this way because it would suggest you didn't care enough.

Publishers don't waste good expense account budgets, marketing budgets and gorgeous gold-lettering on books they don't believe in. Feedback/sales figures post-publication are notoriously impossible to decipher. Everything I'm hearing and seeing points to a really terrific start for Lucy Diamond. All you can do - apart from checking amazon every three minutes, like the rest of us do - is to get on with the next book, and to raise your game every time. Not because you're not already very talented, but simply because you're only really in competition with yourself. That's all you can control. The rest is good marketing and that touch of fairy dust...

Lucy Diamond said...

Oh, you three...
Honestly, I just went to have my tea and I've come back upstairs to see the cavalry are here in force!

Thank you, all of you, for your very nice words. I had a lump in my throat reading your comments!
I'm sure a lot of this angst IS post-publication blues like you say - but it's so much worse than I imagined! It's like the worst kind of comedown after an amazing night out - I've felt really weepy and washed-out for the last few days. Trying to move house as well is really crap timing!

But Clare, you're right - there will be good new things to look forward to as well as the good things I'm leaving behind. Must think of the positives.
And Kate, thanks for your words of wisdom (I am an Amazon-aholic at the moment, it's tragic) and the encouragement. It's so reassuring to hear this from someone who's been there.

Caroline - good luck with your huge steps. (Email me if you want to talk in private.) And more beer sounds a very good idea.

You lot are great. Blogging is a wonderful experience sometimes.
Thank you. Onwards and upwards!

spymum said...

Lovely Lucy do stop stressing (easy for me to say!LOL)! It is all going to go like clockwork, I know it! Soon you'll be in a new and gorgeous part of the country with new friends to add to the old.

(And I got your book yesterday! Woohoo!!)

Hang in there kid! To use American palance, it's all good!

Lucy Diamond said...

Thanks, Spymum, I'm trying, I'm trying (very trying sometimes...)
It's my new resolution - stop moaning on t'blog.
THANK YOU by the way for buying my book, I hope you like it.
(Oh, and I tried to post a comment on your fab nitty post today but it never appeared. Might still be in Blogger ether somewhere - will try again if it doesn't materialise tomorrow!)

Zinnia Cyclamen said...

Your commenters have said it all. But I still wanted to add my voice, if only to say 'hang in there'. Working on something new sounds like a great plan (and drinking more beer, of course).

Clare said...

You don't have to stop "moaning" on your blog, either.

It's just more proof that you're human, and human is good. Upbeat all the time would be boring.

Lucy Diamond said...

Thanks, Zinnia. New work and alcohol did the trick - as well as all the lovely comments I received. Oh, and I might have to take out shares in Sainsburys - the way I've been scoffing down their Caramel Shortcake mini-bites is quite alarming!

Clare, you're right - people who are always upbeat and perky can be a bit annoying. There - an excellent excuse to wallow in the glums now and then!