Sunday, 7 January 2007

Should we stay or should we go?

We've been having big life-change discussions, namely, should we move out of Brighton, to be nearer the rest of our families? It really hit me this weekend, not being able to pop over and see my mum on her birthday. It's a four hour drive to get to hers from ours, and the same sort of difference to partner's mum. We got out a map and measured from my parents' house (Midlands) to partner's mum's (West Country), the idea being to find somewhere inbetween both. Cheltenham was the midpoint. we move somewhere near Cheltenham? Or do we stay put?

There are so many pros and cons to the whole thing. We love Brighton. We've made a lot of friends here, the kids have friends here, they go to a great school, we all love being by the sea. But... we don't often see our parents/siblings/nieces/nephews very much, hardly at all in term-time, and I hate that.

If we moved somewhere like Cheltenham, we'd be able to afford a bigger house and garden (our garden at the moment isn't much bigger than a yard - a sloping yard at that). We'd be half an hour from partner's twin brother, and an hour and a half away from our mums.
But... I don't know a single person in Cheltenham or anywhere nearby. It would mean starting all over again, new schools, new job for partner, having to make new friends... And if we do decide to go, it has to be to somewhere that we love so much we want to stay there ten years or so, rather than uproot the kids (and us) again.

I'm stressed now. Aaaargh. We can't do anything until we've made our house look fab and ready to sell anyway, which probably won't be for a year, knowing the speed we do these things. So we'll probably be here for 2007. In the meantime, we've decided to do a bit of a recce in Feb half-term, drive around Cheltenham, Gloucester, Stroud etc eyeing them all up, asking ourselves if we fancy living there?

I'll keep you posted.


Caroline said...

I read this yesterday and didn't comment. Sorry - I was actually doing something else and meant to come back and and ....
Anyway - last night I dreamed about you moving!!!! Really! I think that blogworld is taking over my mind.
But you were really really happy and you had a lovely fireplace!

What I think?
You get one chance at life and I guess that it's about priorites. If having your family around you is so important, then move. You're lucky to have that desire. You'll make friends, as will the children. They're young. Make a decision and stick to it - don't live somewhere in the middle. Wishing you had the courage to do what you really desire.

There you go. My thoughts. Obviously they are oversimplified, but still ... Go and look around. Get a feel for the place.

Take care,

Lucy Diamond said...

Cheers, Caroline - wise words of advice. And I love the sound of my new fireplace!

I am still swinging between feeling scared and excited about the thought of a new start. Yesterday I had a long chat about it with Best Brighton Friend and we both ended up tearful and I swung back to wanting to stay put, but then I really want my children to grow up seeing lots of their cousins and grandparents, so it's a tricky one.
And without wanting to sound completely shallow, last night I was looking on the web and found a really nice village with a great school and lovely houses and thought, ooh, fancy a bit of that...

Caroline said...

Fancying a bit of that is good!